Is it okay to use AI for relationship advice?

Short answer: yes, with two conditions. Don't do it in secret, and don't let it take your side. Most people are currently breaking both.

What people are actually doing

In a 2025 survey of 1,000 married Americans, 44% had asked AI for relationship advice, 64% had looked for help online before talking to their partner, and 28% had made a money decision on AI's advice without telling their spouse. A third said the AI understood their relationship better than their partner did.

None of that is inherently bad. But look at the shape of it: alone, first, and sometimes instead of the conversation.

Condition one: not in secret

An AI you consult privately about your relationship becomes a third party your partner has never met. Couples counselors now describe clients arriving with chat transcripts as "evidence." The fix is simple: use it where your partner can see it. If that feels impossible, that's information too.

Condition two: it can't take your side

A one-person chat only hears your version, so it tends to agree with you, a well-documented tendency of assistants to be agreeable. That's why one therapist's blog is titled "ChatGPT always takes your side." An AI relationship advisor is only useful if it hears both of you and is built not to pick a winner.

How to do it right

1. Put both of you in the same conversation with the AI.
2. Use a tool that's instructed not to declare who's right, and to say when it's not the right tool (safety, coercion, abuse).
3. Ask it to name what each of you is asking for, not who wins.
4. Treat it as a well-read friend, not a therapist. If you need a therapist, get one.

That's what SharedChat's Relationships room is: both partners in one thread, an AI told in writing never to pick a side, and a plain "this needs a professional" when it does.