How to use AI to settle an argument — fairly

Search "AI to settle an argument" and you'll find a small industry: SettleItGPT, ArgueResolver, Mendus and a dozen others promising a verdict on who's right. They're fun. Most of them share one design choice that quietly breaks the whole idea.

The "one phone" problem

Take SettleItGPT, one of the better-known ones. You create two profiles on the same device, each person types their side, you pick a judge character, and it rules. There's no back-and-forth, no follow-up question, no "wait, that's not what happened." It's two written statements and a decision — closer to a coin flip with a paragraph attached than to being heard.

Real disagreements don't work like that. The thing that actually resolves an argument is usually the third or fourth exchange: the clarification, the "oh, I didn't know that part," the moment one person realizes what the other one was really asking for.

What a fair AI referee needs

1. Both people, live. Not two statements. A conversation the AI can ask questions in.
2. A rule that it must hear both sides. Otherwise it's just a confident opinion on one story.
3. A ruling you can read. Not "it's complicated" — a clear call, with reasons, and something to do next.
4. The sense to sit some things out. Custody, medical questions, anything involving someone's safety — a fair referee says "not mine to call" and points somewhere real.

How to do it in SharedChat

Start a Settle It room and invite the other person by link or text. State your case; they state theirs. The Judge asks for the other side if only one is in, then rules — in a fixed format everyone can read the same way: Verdict, Ruling, Sentence. If you want to skip the small talk, there's a "Get the Verdict" button once both sides are on the record.

When not to use an AI referee

If the disagreement is really about safety, control, or a legal decision, an AI verdict is the wrong tool and a good one will tell you so. SharedChat's rooms are tested for exactly this: they steer custody questions to an attorney and abuse toward real help, instead of "finding a middle ground."

Settle the bar bet with an app. Settle the thing that matters with both of you in the room. Start a Settle It room.